Dear strong beautiful person,
This is for you, the strong woman who struggle everyday to hide the fact that you are broken.
You are beautiful.
If you’re going through a terrible heart break right now, know that you are not alone. I know that feeling, the feeling of darkness all around you threatening to drown your whole being every second. You are wondering how people around you could go on with their lives at the very moment you just want to do nothing and cry. Everything reminds you of him. Every second he does not call you hurts. Every night he does not talk to you feels like a knife through your heart. And it seems like it’s the same every day. Every single day feels like a roller coaster ride. And every day you struggle to stay afloat. No one knows how you feel. You try your best to look calm and composed. Everyone thinks you got it together, when deep inside you’re contemplating on hurting yourself, ‘cos physical pain feels so much better than your heart ache. It’s an everyday struggle that only a person with a broken heart will understand. It will not go away as easily as you want, girl. I will be honest. But you can try and make every waking moment count.
God gives His hardest battles to His strongest soldiers, so they say. In order to fight hard battles, you have to be strong; you have to have courage, strength, and integrity, an ability to understand what is wrong and to not ignore it if it’s serious.
Having been through trauma for the past year, devastated by so much hurt and my family health problems, I needed to hibernate to recover. I’ve been told it takes time. I wasn’t prepared for how long it took me to finally do some simple things that I stopped doing since that fateful day. I stopped cooking, cleaning, reading, and writing. Basically all the things that I love to do. I can’t explain it. Looking back at it now I feel like I was dead for some time. I know you must feel the same way.
You’re going to be in denial for some time. You’re going to try to make it right. You’re going to apologise for everything you did, even for the things you didn’t do, just to get back together. You’re going to blame yourself for what happened, and I’m here to say to you DON’T. The sooner you accept that it’s not your fault, the sooner you will come to terms with the situation, and the sooner the healing process will start.
I know it’s hard for you to open up your struggles. You’re not the type who asks for help. You don’t like people thinking you’re weak. And you end up crying alone in your bed every night. Open up. People around you want to help, especially your family. Let them in. They love you the most, and they will do everything to protect you.
There are no words to describe a broken heart. We feel it, we deny it, we acknowledge it, and we get over it. To cope is a blessing that one could only hope for, to finally feel like you’re ready to move on is an absolute bliss. Your world may have changed, but it’s going to get better. I promise you. Today it feels like you’re looking at the world through a broken telescope, all blurry and pointless and ugly. But there will come a day when you wake up and you will thank God for all His blessings. And you will look into that telescope and you will see a beautiful world waiting for you to explore. You will still see some broken lines, but it’s not going to be blurry anymore. You will learn to be strong for yourself, and you will learn how to smile genuinely. You will value your family and friends and you will make sense of all the chaos and stupidity. You are going to come out of this smarter, stronger, and more powerful, because that is the kind of person that you are. Pray. Speak to Him every day. He always listens. Channel your emotions through positive activities. Travel. Go out and see the world, do it with friends or alone. Do not isolate yourself, it’s unhealthy. Make new friends. Do not hate. Never hate. It’s easier to move on that way.
Life is not easy for God’s soldiers, and He knows that and graciously provides all we need. Trust in that. Someday this journey is going to make sense. But right now, give yourself that much needed self love that you deserve. I promise you, one day you’re going to wake up, and you’re going to be free.